|
|
Post by GuyDenning on Jan 18, 2009 22:40:35 GMT
Bloody hell. Just had a huge fight with a drawing - how bloody sad is that. I need a friggin life. On the port and wine now - sorted ha ha...
So - to cheer you up - Aitch - I'm expecting you to shine with your famous mastery of English punnery. Can't beat a good bit of punnery.
Anarchist jokes please - to get you started...
How many anarchists does it take to change a light-bulb?
Impossible! Anarchists never change anything.
alternatively
How many anarchists does it take to change a light-bulb?
The light bulb can't be changed, it can only be smashed.
What do you get if you cross a situationist with a mafioso?
A guy who makes you an offer you can’t understand.
What does an anarchist taxi service look like?
The driver-passenger relationship represents an essential hierarchical relationship which must be broken down through long co-operative discussion and decision-making. Once all the occupants of the taxi are on equal terms, and those external to the taxi are aware and comfortable with their freedom to associate or disassociate with those within the taxi, discussions of possible destinations can begin in earnest.
Back to work now.
|
|
|
|
Post by misteraitch on Jan 20, 2009 8:19:38 GMT
Q. Why do anarchists only drink instant tea?
A. because proper-tea is theft.
I thank you!
|
|
|
|
Post by rhodesy2112 on Jan 20, 2009 10:55:52 GMT
Q. Why do anarchists only drink instant tea? A. because proper-tea is theft. I thank you! We have Guy to blame for that........... |
|
|
|
Post by bobthecat on Jan 20, 2009 14:12:37 GMT
A couple of good ones i think??
A friend of mine was complaining because she couldn't get any "action" from her anarchist boyfriend. All he would do is sit on the side of the bed and tell her how powerful it would be when they came together.
Anon
Lil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense."
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now."
"Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are."
The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is f****** the Working Class, the government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep nuts."
BTC
|
|
|
|
Post by rhodesy2112 on Jan 20, 2009 19:53:35 GMT
A couple of good ones i think?? A friend of mine was complaining because she couldn't get any "action" from her anarchist boyfriend. All he would do is sit on the side of the bed and tell her how powerful it would be when they came together. Anon Lil' Johnny goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way. I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Mommy is the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you The People. The nanny, well, consider her The Working Class. Your baby brother, we'll call him The Future. Now go think about this and see if it makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying and runs to his room only to find that his diapers are very soiled. So the little boy goes to his parents' room. Mom is sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he looks through the peephole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand what politics is now." "Good son, tell me in your own words then what politics are." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is f****** the Working Class, the government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep nuts." BTC LMFAO |
|
|
|
Post by bobthecat on Jan 20, 2009 20:44:43 GMT
It took me all bloody day to find this one! But im off on the sicky at the moment so got nothing better to dooo LOL
How many anarchy-list subscribers to does it take to change a light bulb?
1,666
1 person to notice that the hard drive light is burned out on Jack's computer.
13 people to make generalizations about how changing society would mean that in the future, problems like the burned-out bulbs wouldn't exist.
1 person to re-open the debate about how light bulbs are made from animal materials and thus are unanarchistic. This person also would say that guns should be banned because they can be used to shoot small cuddly animals.
1 former small-town politician to regale the list on his hunting experiences and how guns and light bulbs are good things.
1 son of a CIA-agent to say that greenhouse warming doesn't exist and that the burned-out bulb has no environmental effect. He will cite an article from a LaRouchite paper he found in his college's student cafeteria. This person then sends 145 messages with press accounts about lightbulbs in police cars that he may have destroyed.
1 person to send out flame bait about the light bulb issue.
130 people who respond to the flame bait and quote previous messages in their entirety, with only a one line addition appended. These posts will all include sig lines longer than the responses.
6 people to propose that a FAQ on the Proper Anarchist Way to Change Light Bulbs be written.
560 people to send requests on how to find "The Lightbulb Cookbook."
670 to send unsubscribe messages saying that the traffic about lightbulbs is too much.
45 drunken students to post weird ramblings with no relation to any of the threads.
1 rosaphilia to post 65 KB forwarded messages about conspiracy theories and light bulbs.
19 spammers to send messages about products entirely unrelated to lightbulbs, anarchy, guns, or police cars.
3 A-infos posts to inform the world on the lightbulb debate.
16 folks who send messages quoting great anarchist lightbulb thinkers out of context.
18 immature boys to make accusations that other list members do weird sexual things with lightbulbs.
2 people to send out emails about punk benefit shows in Ohio that will raise money for the new light bulb.
1 wise guy/gal to start a flame thread if organizing around the lightbulb situation is an example of "lifestylism."
356 to post follow-up to the lifestylism debate, asserting that the lightbulb is important to revolutionary politics.
20 newbies to crosspost the entire thread to 15 other lists, including 6 secret, members-only ones, and 45 newsgroups including alt.talk.lightbulb, alt.revolution.change.lightbulb, alt.politics.chomsky, alt.worship.trotsky, soc.guns.fuzzy, alt.conspiracy.westinghouse, and alt.libertarian.scientology.
1 person to ponder the origins of the black lightbulb and its various meanings through history.
65 anarchos to discuss how they were first introduced to the anarchist way of lightbulb changin'.
4 frustrated anarchists to urge that we get anarchists "organized" on this issue.
89 people to discuss whether or not anarchists should change the lightbulb like they do at McDonalds.
222 well-read anti-authoritarians to suggest book titles for further reading on this important topic.
3 anarchist librarians to make sure that all the debate about the lighbulb situation is archived and properly indexed, so that future scholars can look back and ponder what all the commotion was about.
1 list-maintainer to go out to the electronics store to buy a new bulb.
and of course:
3 luddite neo-primitivists to fashion a raft out of junk, float across the Atlantic, locate Jack's computer, and smash the new bulb to pieces.
Note: The numbers don't add up to the answer given above because math is relative. Those who maintain that mathematics gives exact answers are pretentious, elitist academic wankers.
Anon
BTC
|
|
